This first week in Ghana was filled with many never-before experienced sights, smells and the reaction to my senses, emotions. Coming to Ghana, I knew I would be pushing my boundaries further than they’d ever been pushed before. I was abruptly surprised to confront the fact that I was utterly and completely out of my comfort zone. Although being out of my comfort zone isn’t exactly… comfortable (ha-ha). Emily Port, one of my Media and Ghana Cohort mates insightfully pointed out the importance of pushing boundaries, “pushing yourself out of your comfort zone forces what is uncomfortable to become comfortable.” Throughout these past 9 days my team members and I have faced many uncomfortable situations and I have found myself coming back to Emily’s words for perseverance to push towards comfort.
All week our agenda was planned out and I was pretty excited for most of the activities. This excludes visiting the Elmina and Cape Coast slave castles. I knew these experiences were important to my cultural growth and historical understanding but I found myself still dreading the emotions I’d face while in these “castles”.
As we entered I was faced a flood of emotions ranging from sadness, guilt, confusion, rage and terror. Standing in the female dungeon I found myself looking at the walls and ceilings and realizing that I am sharing this sight with millions of innocent, tortured souls. This feeling was gut wrenching and deeply impactful. The tour continued and these emotions deepened as the history of the castles were expanded upon. These dark, unventilated dungeons drew drips of sweat out of the 15 people in the room. When I noticed this I couldn’t even begin to imagine what the slaves who resided there experienced as they were packed up to 300 in the same room, not ever being let out even to use the restroom.
Once we left the castles these feelings of sadness, guilt, confusion, rage and terror did not go away. Going into our perfectly air-conditioned van and to the beautiful Coconut Grove Resort felt undeserved. My white privilege felt shameful and my confusion of how the Elmina Castle was able to operate for 400 years dumbfounded me.
After a few hours of re-cooperation my classmates and I had a talk. There, I found solace in finding that my teammates were experiencing the same feelings as I. The professor’s accompanying; Senyo, Lisa, Curtis and of course Leslie, shared our emotions as well as giving us sound advice to move forward. The most comforting of this advice being that we have experienced history and can now go forward with greater understanding and empathy. Although my feelings remain confusing and unsolved, the greater understanding of the past of human kind has brought me comfort in discomfort.
