Starting a new job can be a very unnerving experience. Oftentimes, you don’t know what
to expect, you don’t know what the office vibe will be, and worst of all, it becomes a perfect
scenario for imposter syndrome. On the first day of my internship, this was, unfortunately, the case. For those who don’t know what imposter syndrome is, here is a quick run-down. This is a mental mindset where you feel like a phony. If you have won any accolades, you deny that you deserve them. You won’t settle for anything less than perfection, and you feel that you will never be good enough to make it in the business. The only reason you got to the place you’re at is by dumb luck. You berate your performance, fear you won’t live up to expectations, and attempt to do more work than what is needed.

The first day of our internship started as I expected. Each student was dropped off one by
one at their specific media outlet before it was finally time for Rubby and me to get dropped at our site, Innova DDB. DDB is one of the largest advertising networks in the world. We met the man who runs the agency, Kenneth Hammond, and had an introductory meeting. We then met with Selorm, the head of copywriting, and he took us to the set of a commercial shoot. It was a fantastic experience and got me excited about the work I would be doing.
Then we got back to the office and were given our first task: analyzing advertisements.
This is such a simple task, yet imposter syndrome took hold of me. To give an idea of what it
was like, here is a stream of consciousness of what was going on in my head: “You can’t analyze ads. You’re not good enough. You don’t belong here. No way will you be good enough
compared to the past Ducks who worked at this agency. You should have switched to journalism when you had the chance. This isn’t the right career for you. You can’t make it in this industry. Screw school –you should drop out and get a blue-collar job. Why not be a plumber or a pilot? Yeah, a pilot sounds nice. You like to travel, and that could be fun. Wait, then you wouldn’t be able to do triathlons. Looks like you’ll have to stick with this advertising thing. Why did you switch from strategy to copywriting? You know you can’t write copy. But you suck at strategy too. You can’t research for your life, and you barely know the software for it.”

Thoughts like this raced through my head on and on for a little over an hour and a half,
making me seriously doubt my worth and place at this internship. I have dealt with self-doubt before, but this was a little more intense than what I usually go through. Thankfully, I was able to get past it. The main way I was able to move on was by conversing with my co-workers. Whether it was comparing analyses with Rubby or learning about the agency from my other boss, Bismark, talking really started to calm me down. By the end of the day, I felt fine and more confident in my abilities. This was a place where I believed I could thrive if I just believed in myself. I also believe that the personal interactions were extremely significant.

Through COVID, I believe we have all missed the ability to experience social interaction with our peers and instructors. Whether through classmates or co-workers, working with other people makes things more enjoyable, clearer and more powerful. We are naturally social beings and need physical interaction to function properly. I think if I have learned anything from this situation, it’s that personal discourse can solve multiple problems. You can brainstorm through a solution, build relationships with others, or, as in my case, cure imposter syndrome.

On the day when we can finally consider ourselves back to some sort of normalcy, let us look back on our time in lockdown. Let us remember just how valuable personal interaction is and never forget what we lost through this period of history. We lost a lot through COVID, but hopefully we can gain even more in some ways and better appreciate things we used to take for granted. Imposter syndrome had me in the beginning. It kicked me down and beat me up. But I got through it with the help of others, even if they didn’t know they were helping. Self-doubt is something we all have faced, and still we somehow manage to get through it. We must not be afraid to seek help from others when we need it and be brave enough to fight past it. If I’m able to do it, then so can anyone.