By Milly Gamlen

When I was accepted to the Media in Ghana Program, I felt a lot of excitement. As a mixed-raced woman who is partly African, I have always wanted to see where that part of me originates. As the trip grew closer, the excitement became anxiety, anxiety that I am not African enough to have those feelings, anxiety that this would be yet another environment where I hope to belong only to be ostracized. Just an overall looming anxiety mixed with the feeling that there was no way this was actually going to happen, and that something would go wrong at the last minute making me unable to go.

The stress of forgetting subsided when I walked out of the airport in Accra, but the hope and dread surrounding acceptance did not. That scared me. I hoped that I would walk out into this unfamiliar land and immediately feel a sense of homecoming, and when that didn’t happen I got really freaked out. I am glad to say I no longer feel like that. 

After my first week, I am beginning to realize a few things. First, there is no such thing as not being African enough. Second, acceptance is not something measured by the way someone looks here; it is measured by how accepting you are of the people in return. I have felt so welcomed by all of the people I have met, and finally feel like I am enough. It’s not necessarily that I feel like this place is home, but I no longer feel like I have to search for people who look exactly like me and can instead look for people who represent one part of me. I already know my English identity, and I hope that on this trip I will begin to get to know my African side as well. I plan to use those two identities as a stepping stone to get to know my Indian side more in the future. 

I think this trip will be a good way to bridge part of the division I have been battling within myself for so long, and for that I will forever be grateful. To the little girl who didn’t understand herself and thought she never would, that will change one day.