By Milly Gamlen
This week was one of frustration for me.
I was always raised to be optimistic, that it is right to carry through on commitments you make, but this was the week I began to question if there are exceptions to that rule.
It’s week three of my internship and I feel like a burden. The company I am at does not seem to want or need an intern outside of social media memos. As a photojournalist, it has been incredibly frustrating to have only used my camera for social media videos and head shots. So, I said something. I reached a point where I couldn’t do it anymore, and I just knew something had to change.
I initially felt like the only appropriate person to talk to would be one of my two bosses. But after my ideas kept being shot down—and with both of them out of the office this entire week (following a first week where one was out and no one told me I had two bosses)—I didn’t feel comfortable or supported going to them. Especially considering I don’t think I’m the right fit for this company. So instead, I messaged Senyo.
I told him my frustrations and how I had been feeling, and asked if there was anywhere else I could be placed. He immediately responded, telling me that he and Leslie would start looking right away. Immediately I felt better, even if nothing were to come from it. I thought, “at least I advocated for myself.” Luckily, something did come of it. I had suggested an outlet that two of our cohort are already at, after one of them had mentioned that they would probably be open to more interns, and it ended up working out.
I start on Monday and I am just so excited to take some pictures. I don’t know what my workload will look like or even what my hours will be but I don’t care. As long as I’m taking pictures that help tell a story or explain something, I will be happy.
You may be wondering why I didn’t say anything earlier, and rest assured, so am I. But honestly, I think I was just trying to convince myself it would get better. I have always been someone who believes in toughing things out until you reach a breaking point. This experience has been a good reminder not to do that. It has also served as a reminder that it is healthier and often easier to advocate for yourself and make a change than to remain miserable hoping for something new.
Reminder: the definition of insanity is doing the same thing multiple times and expecting a different result.
So, be better than me. Advocate for yourself. The worst they can say is no.