The textiles have been amazing, the food has been an adventure (to say the least), the people are welcoming as can be; but I have finally realized why it is that I feel such honest, pure, and peaceful happiness here in Accra. It’s all in the love languages.
A few years ago, a supervisor in Residence Life asked me and other soon-to-be Resident Assistants to take a Myers-Briggs Personality Test and Love Language Test as a way to aide her individual styles of communication with each of us. Having never taken one of these tests before, I was a bit skeptical of their accuracy. But when the results came in, with in-depth descriptions, I knew that there was some truth behind this “Love Language” stuff.
It turns out I place a whole lot of value in my primary Love Language, ‘Physical Touch’. The website I was assessed on (5lovelanguages.com) states, “A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love.” I was taken aback by the accuracy of this description. I can’t remember a time where I did not use physical touch as a means to communicate my feelings and emotions with other people.
While on this trip, it has become apparent to me that many Ghanaians also place immense value on the concept of ‘Physical Touch’. From incredibly elaborate handshakes, to extended embraces, to constant caresses of the shoulders, it seems to me that people here use ‘Physical Touch’ as a communication tool that is just as important as words. Shopkeepers whom I have never met before shake my hand and say “you are welcome” when I enter their stalls. Coworkers wrap an arm around my shoulder as they ask me how I am doing. When introduced to friends or relatives, I am greeted with a hug even though we just met.
And it just makes me so happy.
Living in a community where respectful, safe, and consensual physical contact is common, nonaggressive and nonsexual, and welcomed by most is a heart-warming experience for me. I feel as though I am able to communicate my appreciation, respect, and fondness for others in ways that simple words don’t do justice. Even now, I am having difficulty putting this experience into words in a way that doesn’t sound completely crazy. For me, there is just something overwhelmingly calming about this kind of physical connection with somebody. And there is no shortage of that here in Accra.
